John Cena vs. Chris Jericho for the World Heavyweight Championship

This Sunday, Armageddon returns for its 2008 installment. Slammitie and I regularly make predictions on pay-per-views as a fun competition. As of today (December 11), there are only six matches on the card, which means that Slammitie and I could have a 3-3 tie. In instances such as this, we usually have some kind of tiebreaker. For Summerslam 2007, we wrestled in my backyard. I won. Actually, Slammitie got winded and told me to pin him. I took this as a come on and was going to just forfeit right there, but the sweet taste of victory was just too much for me to resist, so I swallowed my pride (and my manhood) and covered Slammitie. I quickly ran back inside my house and took a shower.


The card looks pretty good. It’s not as good as last year’s Armageddon, but there’s potential for this pay-per-view to be more exciting than November’s Survivor Series (thank God there are no casket matches this time).

Here are my picks:

John Cena vs. Chris Jericho for the World Heavyweight Championship

This is my dark horse pick. I was disappointed that Jericho lost the title at Survivor Series and I want to see him go into Wrestlemania XXV as the World Heavyweight Champion, especially since the last time he main evented a Wrestlemania the hype was poor. Jericho needs the title more than Cena does. I say Jericho wins.

Edge vs. Triple H vs. “The Charismatic Mysterious Extreme Rainbow-Haired Warrior Pick A F$%#ing Nickname Already Enigma” Jeff Hardy for the WWE Championship (Triple Threat Match)

I think Edge will hold the title until Wrestlemania, so I pick him to win. This will leave Triple H and Hardy to battle it out until Royal Rumble or No Way Out to see who will challenge Edge in Houston.

Batista vs. Randy Orton

I am a Randy Orton mark and I love watching Batista lose. The Legacy continues this Sunday.

"Don't mess up, don't mess up, don't mess up..."

Matt Hardy vs. Vladimir Kozlov

I was hoping this feud was going to happen. Regardless of the match Kozlov had with Triple H at the Series, WWE should continue with his push. Watching him these last few months reminds me of when Umaga first started out in the WWE, beating the ever living pee pee (the kids may be reading, you know) out of everybody. Kozlov is the classic indestructible mean dude. Plus, he hasn’t been pinned and he hasn’t been made to submit yet. Matt Hardy is the guy who can help keep the push going. Since this is a non-title match, it won’t be the last one between these two. Hardy will win by disqualification. Kozlov will either get frustrated and go ape doody on Hardy or he’ll beat Hardy in the corner of the ring mercilessly until the ref counts to five and calls for the bell.

Finlay vs. Mark Henry in a “Belfast Brawl”

I’m sorry, but can we stop calling a no disqualification/street fight type match featuring Finaly a “Belfast Brawl”? When I first heard this was going to happen last year between Kane and Finlay, I thought to myself “Ooo, how much blood will there be?” The answer was NONE. If you want to have a real Belfast brawl, add some guns and some Molotov Cocktails. What’s next, a “Trenchtown Riot” featuring Kofi Kingston? Whatever you want to call it, I liked the last “Belfast Brawl” from Wrestlemania XXIV, but I’m not quite sure Mark Henry can do as good a job in one as John “OH MY GOD! JOEY STYLES PUNCHED ME OUT” Layfield. That won’t matter because I see Mark Henry winning this match. Without the title, he needs a win to stay the top heel on ECW. Maybe it’s just me but every time I watch Finlay wrestle he loses.

"Michael, when you get punched out by a man 100 pounds lighter and a foot smaller than you, you feel like a big pussbag."

Rey Mysterio vs. C.M. Punk in the finals of the Intercontinental Title Tournament

Who called it? Who called it? That’s right, I did.

I thought this was going to happen on Raw, but I’m glad it’s on pay-per-view. It makes the Intercontinental Title look like a worthy title to be fighting for, especially with these guys in the finals. Like I said last week, Punk and Regal are going to feud, so I pick Punk to win. I’m wondering if Mike Knox will interfere to cause Mysterio a loss. At first it might seem stupid because Punk is a face, but if Punk goes heel in a few months like I want him to, a Knox interference might be a good, subtle place to start.

I need a win on Armageddon since I went 1-5 on the Series and had to wrestle the raccoon that lives outside of Slammitie’s house as per the condition of our bet. By the way, Slammitie, I went to the doctor the next day and he said I didn’t have rabies, but thanks anyway you weenie head.

Slammetie's Pix
Yes, I spell "pix" with an X... you can do things like this when you win the prediction bets that me and ropes have on almost a monthly basis. Instead of talking smack about my opponent this week, I'm just going to get down the the nitty gritty of it, and give my pix.

John Cena is going to win, and it's going to be the worst mistake made by the WWE this year. I agree that Jericho needs the title more than Cena, and that having Jericho win would be the logical scenario for any wrestling mark, but like I do with the Jets, I remain cautiously pessimistic. Cena=ratings=WWE has him keep the title.

Edge is going to beat HHH and Jeff Hardy and here's why. It may be a shot in the dark but let me give you the total scenario. Edge wins at Armageddon, then he beats someone at Royal Rumble. Jeff Hardy comes within inches of winning the Royal Rumble, but come up short after being thrown out by none other than HHH. Flash forward to Wrestlemania. Jeff Hardy wins MITB, and HHH pins Edge 1-2-3 in the middle of the ring. Cue Hardy's music, he comes out and steals the gold form that man who has been waving it in his face for such a long time now, and finally becomes WWE champion. What do ya think?

Batista will beat Randy Orton. Randy Orton just looks too good for him to win. It's classic WWE philosophy, build up the guy who's gonna lose to make the winner look that much better. Read Mick Foley's book, he says it right there in writing. And Batista will cry if he loses at a ppv, he always does.

Vlad the impaler will beat Matt Hardy, but it won't be a squash match. That's it. The feud will continue.

Mark Henry will lose the match, but he will win the war. Finlay may get the pin but Mark henry is going to EAT HORNSWAGGLE!...... or something else that takes Horny out of the equation.

CM Punk will beat Rey Rey, and feud with Regal, I've already predicted him to win the whole thing, and I'm not turning back now.

So let's recap

S /R
Cena vs Jericho
Cena/ Jericho

Triple Threat Match
Edge /Edge

Belfast Brawl
Finlay /Mark Henry

Batista vs Orton
Batista /Orton

Hardy vs Vlad
Vlad /Hardy

Rey vs Punk
Punk /Punk

come one folks, let's place some wagers on who you think is going to be more right, Slammetie or Ropes.... leave comments.
*UPDATE 12-13-08*
Maybe we should have waited until after Smackdown to make our predictions, but no one's perfect except Mr. Perfect. The WWE added an 8 Diva Tag Match to the Armageddon card. I (Ropes) am picking the heel divas to win. Michelle McCool's bad attitude will cause her team to lose.

Intercontinental #1 Contender Tourney

As you all may know: there is a HUGE #1 Contender's Tournament with the winner getting an Intercontinental title shot going on on RAW right now. As of now Kofi Kingston has advanced by defeating Kane, although via disqualification. Rey Mysterio handed The Miz his own butt on a silver platter and completely dismantled him with one arm... literally. John Morrison easily defeated Finlay, and CM Punk squeaked out a victory over Snitsky... and just when it looked like they were going to give him a push.
Tournaments in wrestling has always been a favorite of mine. Since the Wrestlemania IV tourney when Macho Man Randy Savage won the Championship gold, to all of the King of the Rings, even to the ROH tourney that me and Ropes had the pleasure of seeing live this past year where Kevin Steen won the #1 contender spot for the World title. I'm very interested to see how THIS one is going to pan out. I'm going to start by first giving a little opinion of each wrestler left in the tournament.

First is Kofi "Jamaican Me Crazy" Kingston. Former Intercontinental Champion, he never officially lost the title. It was Mickey James' fault that he no longer holds the title. But he would have lost it eventually, and I don't think that it's his time to retrieve it. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about the young blood in the WWE making a name for themselves and winning titles, but he's already Tag Team Champion, which I already think is being booked incredibly poorly, and if he wins the Intercontinental Championship, the Tag Titles or the Intercontinental Title will have less meaning. I feel that the booking for these titles is poor enough, and this would definitely push them over the edge of boredom.

Rey Rey Mysterio...... Mysterio. This man really personifies what an Intercontinental Champion should be. He's athletic, exciting to watch, and puts it all on the line every time. You know that he would be a fighting champion, and not just a paper champion. AND the Intercontinental Championship Title is one of the only ones that he hasn't held yet. All he needs to work on is his promo chops a little bit, but I think it would be great to see the title around his waist. He is sure to put on an epic showing for the remainder of his time in this tournament. Now, does that mean that I think that he will win the tournament, and ultimately win the championship? Just keep reading to find out what my predictions are.

John Morrison... wait...
<---- Wrong John Morrison. (I found this while Google Image searching for John Morrison)

Here he is, Former ECW Champion... Former Tag Team Champion... Former Intercontinental Champion...The Shaman of Sexy, the Palace of Wisdom guy, the chick magnet... wait that's his tag partner The Miz. I firmly believe that John Morrison has the most potential to make a great champion out of all of these competitors. He's charismatic, he's athletic as heck, and he's innovative. He's also the type of guy that can cheat to win, but doesn't always do so, which garners a little bit more respect. He is the next Shawn Michaels, and those aren't small shoes to fill. After their short feud with DX, he really showed how he could be the next Shawn Michaels, specifically by stealing his move Sweet Chin Music. I would love to see this guy win the Championship and regain the Intercontinental Championship. However, it would leave his protege The Miz left in the dust. The Miz may have what it takes, but not yet, and under the tutelage of Nitro, The Miz can be a contender. Is the WWE really ready to give up on the Miz yet?

When you Google Image CM Punk, you are bound to find this image... at least a thousand times... the image of a man who lives a straight edge lifestyle with his arms crossed in order to prevent bad people from imposing their will upon him. CM Punk is a former ECW Champion, former WWE Champion, and current Tag Team Champion. He has all the makings of an Intercontinental Champion. The crowd would love it, but as I mentioned before, he is the current Tag Team Champion, and if he wins the Intercontinental gold, then either the singles title or the tag title will lose meaning, and neither of those titles can take it to lose any more meaning than the WWE has already taken from them. But will he win the gold?

No comments:

Post a Comment