In the Eye of the Beholder or Just Plain Ugly

Beauty, they say, is in the eye of the beholder. This rule applies as much to the animal kingdom as to us, surely? Take a browse through these animals of distinctly different appearances and make up your own mind. Are they beautiful in their own way, or just plain ugly?

Beauty, they say, is in the eye of the beholder. This rule applies as much to the animal kingdom as to us, surely? Take a browse through these animals of distinctly different appearance and make up your own mind. Are they beautiful in their own way or just plain ugly?

 WTF


This is real. No, seriously! It is a baby Aye-Aye. The species should really have been called a No-No but that's another story. The species is currently endangered for various reasons - one being geography: it comes from the island of Madagascar and is found nowhere else in the world. That's possibly a relief. Secondly, the indigenous tribes of Madagascar found them so ugly that often, when discovered, they would be beaten to death. Do not show this picture to your kids because as soon as they see it they will want an Aye-Aye themselves. And if you are a parent who just can't say No-No you will be in trouble!


 Baby Parrot

Some people find new born human babies inexplicably attractive and if you fall in to that category you probably let out a sound that goes something like “aaaw”. Go on, admit it, it's just you and the computer, no one will know. If you belong to the minority of sane people on this small blue planet, then replace the three instances of the letter "a" with an "e" to form a completely different noise.


No Chance of a Prince Here




This was one of the more attractive pictures of a frog I could find. Better to leave some things to the imagination. This chap is a White's Tree Frog and, when kept as a pet is one of the tamest frogs you could care to meet. Fully grown he is super light and will fit in to the palm of your hand - barely. Remember not to watch the final of America's Got Talent while holding him. Applause could be damaging. People always wonder why frogs are such happy little amphibians. That's because they eat whatever bugs them.
The Naked Mole Rat




If you whipped this little guy out at the Doctor's surgery you would probably be admitted to hospital in record time. The Naked Mole Rat - a name which just cries out to be adopted by an S&M Club - is a shy and timid creature and has no plans at the moment for world domination even if the expression on his face looks as if he might be contemplating it in a Dr Evil kind of way. Gentlemen, do not slip one in your pocket on a first date. It will be the last.


The Saiga




The Chinese are becoming rather adept at making species extinct, so your last chance to see the elusive Saiga antelope will be coming up soon. With whorly carrots for horns and a rather snub and bulbous snout, they look like something your kid might draw in kindergarten and proudly display it to you. “Look what I drewed!” he exclaims. Yes, little Timmy, you reply with a pat on the head and wonder how he manages to draw animals that could never possibly exist every single bloody time.



Bat

No, this is not a vampire bat but the common or garden brown bat. Just as well because if you cross a vampire with a computer you get love at first byte. A great set of gnashers, though, his dentist should be proud. Looks like the rest of him might benefit to a visit to the hygienist though.


More More Moray!




“When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore...
When you put your hand in a crack and you don't get it back, that's a moray!”

On a serious note, moray eels will never attack you unless you provoke them, like post slanderous comments about their girl friend on a chat forum. Then they get mad.


Dog. DOG?!?!



You should see the owner. So ugly that this little thing humps her leg with his eyes closed. This dog's name is Sam and he won the World's Ugliest Dog competition three times. The ultimate statement against pedigree breeding he is in fact of a species known as the “Chinese Hairless”. You don't say. The stuff of dream or nightmares? You decide!


 Alpaca




You can always rely on the creatures of South America for the “ew” factor (and, yes, Llamas will be coming along later). Knock knock - so goes the old joke. Alpaca. Alpaca who? Alpaca the suitcase, you packa the trunk. Incidentally, a friend of mine recently bought a herd of alpacas from Pakistan. “Islamabad?” I asked. “No,” he replied, “I just prefer alpacas”. Please use the comment box at the end of this article to post a complaint about the standard of humor on this page.


Sight of the Condor




Remaining in South America for a while, the above is a fine example of a male Condor. Related to the vulture family (though you would never guess) the Condor is in fact a vegetarian. Got you there for a second. The growth you can see is called a caruncle: the person who named it obviously missed out a letter. Ah, to “b” or nor to “b”. To “be”, I believe!



Llama Operatics




Everyone thought that Freddie Mercury got the Barcelona gig without any competition. How wrong can you be? Monserrat Caballe very nearly chose Llarry the Llama above, but backed out at the last minute fearing that she would be upstaged.

The same friend who bought the alpacas from Pakistan recently bought a toy Llama in a shop. It was lovely and cuddly, but my friend, strangely, revered it. I had to explain, very kindly and carefully the difference between a dolly Llama and the Dalai Lama.




The image above is included to give a fair representation of the grimace you gave to my last piece of the thing sometimes know as humor.



 Slug it Out




Looking more like something you might be expected to produce as a sample at a hospital than a living. Breathing creature, this slug is included solely for that purpose and that purpose only. There is no point in toilet humor without getting down and dirty


However, if the sample looks something like this Banana Slug, I would worry. A lot.